Our very own secret private investigator of the Paradise Post, was finally able to crack the Deep State Spherical Earth Conspiracy that so far has deluded most of humanity. Going on a very small hunch Mr. X (not his real name) our investigator, was able to approach one of the Spherical Earth recruiters of NASA who had set up shop (literally) in Kuwait, of all places, where in a little shop in the local Kashba – — ostensibly selling smart phones! — the contact man of NASA was sifting through many potential workers for the super-secret underground fabricaton centers of NASA.
HERE IS MR. X’s PERSONAL STORY
“I followed the person about whom I was given a tip-off, that they were a member of the secret recruitment team of NASA, on foot through the darkest corners of the Kashbah. Suddenly on turning a corner, I stumbled onto what looked like a tiny tunnel about one meter high, but the guy was a goner. I figured he had gone inside, so I followed suit. It took me on a ten-mile chase where I sometimes caught sight of him, and almost lost it. When we finally got to the end of this mad goose chase, we arrived in a pretty modern shopping center where I saw him turning stealthily into one of the small shops. (I kid you not!) [SEE the photo I made with my secret smart phone hidden inside my Moslim hand bag.] The shop keeper immediately approached me and asked me what brand phone I was looking for. I was flustered at first but then in hopes of the right code, blurted out, “The Earth is flat!”
As soon as I had said that, he beckoned me to follow him, while saying loudly, “For special phones like that you have to come in the backroom.”
When we were behind the curtain, he said, “Who sent you!?”
I answered, to the best of my empirical intelligence, “Mr. King of the Flat Earth Union!”
“Who is he!?”
“He is a Flat Earth light to the Gentiles!”
“Yes? And so what do you want!”
I riposted as naturally as I could muster, “I would really like to be used for the greatest cause in the history of Man, ever, dependent on the flag of the United Nations!!”
“Are you an idiot?”, he asked, “And have you ever done photoshop!”
I said, “Yes I am… I mean yes I have!” Not really knowing how I could possibly answer such a tricky double question.”
“Alright then!”, he said, “Follow me.
“Sit down in one of the cubicles and turn on the computer, and open Photoshop!”, he ordered.
I plopped down my muslim bag on the counter behind one of the tutors with the secret camera pointed at the cubicles, and set down second person on the left where you can see me with headphones on.
No sooner had I donned the phones, a voice of one of the tutors began to instruct me…
“You will see in the ‘flat earth’ directory a series of jpg files. I’d like you to open one of them and show us your ability to turn one of the pictures of either Earth’s disk or of any of the other planets into a spherical shape. Unless you have video editing abilities, you will work in the graphics you find there. Do you?”
“Do you what!?, I said.
“Do you have video editing abilities or 3D program experience like 3D MAX or any other?”
“Yes I happen to do video editing.”
“OK then please open the directory Flat Earth videos and open the one called Saturn, please.”
I opened the video file in VLC and saw a disk-like circle.
Can you turn this into a sphere?” the tutor asked.
“Yes I am sure I can handle that.”
“OK turn the disk into a sphere with the spherical java script you see and then please put the rings around the ball. When you’re finished show me the results.”
In no time I did what was asked of me and called her, “Finished!”
She opened the updated file on her screen, and smiled, “Great work! You must be a natural. Well we got lots of work for you. You will receive a pretty good salary and benefits if you agree to work for us, but only IF you agree to work in complete and total confidential circumstances. IF you would ever betray the Spherical Earth cause, you shall be charged in a secret military court with sedition which could result in capital punishment. Consider your self warned! So what do you want to do now!?”
“I’d like to join the team and work with you in total confidentiality.” I lied.
“OK, sign the papers and then follow me.”
School was over, it seemed. I signed the papers with the serious conditions, and then followed her down a hall way, at the end of which was another entry. We went through another hallway and finally entered into an underground hall as big as an airport hangar. I got one shot of some of the workers in their cubicles from the gallery above them as we walked in. This however was merely a small part of the gigantic hall where in were literally thousands of cubicles, row after row, with thousands of workers typing and mousing away at graphical interfaces. (I later understood that this was just only one of many global facilities all over the world ubiquitously everywhere! )“This is our top secret video department. Here we create all the Spherical Earth videos of the “International Space Station” ISS, that are supposedly broadcast to Earth every day and distributed in space centers and universities, and other facilities, all over the world. Here, see one of the videos we photoshopped. Every time our flat footage reached the dome sticking up behind the Antarctic ice wall, we just inserted another video, as you will see! That’s why you never see the ice wall! Totally fake!”
“You will be working in the Mars explorer section where you will be producing 3D footage of the Martian explorers, so that we can daily upload it to the Internet for consumption of the wider public. There can be no mistakes. Anything you fail to make spherical and it comes out flat, your salary will be halved. We can’t take any chances that the Flat Earth will be found out. You sent your videos straight to me and you will never, and I mean never, talk about what you do to anybody whosoever. If you do there is but one fate for you, understand?”
“I fully understand! I am after all a full blood Red White & Blue American”, I said with conviction.
The rest of the day I spent working on making spherical videos of Mars for wider global consumption in all countries of the World. It seemed Russia, China, India, UK, France, German Space agency, and many others in the world were in on the global conspiracy, (which I was sure was led by the Black Pope of the Jesuits!), or receivers of the billions of faked videos and faked photographs produced in our top secret centre.
Paradise Post Editor: Thus far, the shocking report. With great pains our secret reporter mr. X, was able to leave Kuwait with the above photograps and make it safely back to our office. And have we got a scoop for the world!!! This is purely a Paradise Post Premiere of invastigative reporting, that you are not going to believe.
Are you sitting down?
NASA’s Secret Spherical Photoshoppers Armies Finally & Definately Exposed!
PP, Taiwan. From our secret correspondent. Mr. X
NASA appears to be involved with global deception of international space agencies, government officials, space monitoring facilities, astronomical centers, deep space exploration centers, and many many more institutions of virtually every country on the globe, to supply all space, astronomical scientists everywhere with a steady daily flow of fake spherical video footage and photo psy-ops to keep the illusion alive among the millions of scientists involved, that the Earth is round, instead of flat!
All the world’s media are either in on it, and or mere recipients of the finished fake footage and photos. The operation has been going on for decades already, even before the days of computers, Photoshop, and 3D software, when secret employees of Disney Channel were involved with dishing up false film footage of Earth from space, supposedly taken from airplanes, sputniks, and US space capsules, as well as from secret high altitude spy planes and arial bombers from as far back as WW2 like the one used in Hiroshima, until most of them all started using fish-eye lenses since the sixties. Models of a round planet were used for the longest time since balloon rides became normal in the thirties and during WW2.
The high security operation instigated by international bankers under leadership of the Jesuits — as reported by Karen Hudes — from as far back as the days of Copernicus, has involved literally millions of secret photographers, film, and movie operators, graphic artists, as well as film directors, and movie managers, and many more! The secret was never leaked until Mr. X. dared to risk his life and finally cracked this enigmatic one-of-a-kind massive operation. We are waiting for more Kuwaiti whistle blowers to come forward!
Unless the Paradise Post is scrubbed from WordPress, DO Look forward to our next episode. “The Flat Earth courtcase that will rock the world FLAT OUT!”
Make this viral! Spread the word! The American Flat Earth (Some of whom were Christians) whom you all suspected of being the most deceived species on the face of the Earth, are in actuality the most intelligent specimen of American Dewey education EVER!
A lot of apologies are now over due, and we advise people who were so convinced that the Earth, and the planets, and the universe were ROUND, to be very ashamed and put on dunce caps or eat their hats, or slink away in everlasting self loathing and eternal contempt.
How could you have ever been so wrong, yet so cocky and self confident that you were right?
Your stupidity and ignorance baffles us. We have no more to say than “Shame on you!
The debate is over! Go back to school! You are all a disgrace to humanity.
The Earth is FLAT… after all.
Ha! Fool me once, Fool me twice….. I mean you can’t get fooled again.
Now can you?
Nota Bene: If the Paradise Post goes off line after this, or disappears… then you know why!
Just know that we have never, would never, and will never consider suicide. Evah!